Actress/Model Jennifer O’Neill’s Message to Arizona Women: Making Abortion Unthinkable

By Dennis Durband, Editor
April, 10, 2005

PHOENIX -- Abortion exacts an overwhelming toll – for the poor, the middle class and the rich and famous, too. There is no socio-economic safe zone for the women who have prevented their babies from being born alive.

Author of the books, “Surviving Myself” and “You’re Not Alone,” and national spokeswoman for the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, actress and model Jennifer O’Neill told a Women’s Expo audience that she was not exempt from abortion’s exorbitant costs. O’Neill, now 57 and a grandmother of four, was selling a positive image as a Cover Girl model at age 15, she starred in 28 movies with the likes of John Wayne, Robert Duvall and Chuck Norris, among others. She was an icon of youthful beauty, fame and wealth; she had it all.

Or so we all thought. Today, she told the real story of her life to Expo-goers who had been hearing pitches for miracle cleaners, getting their cholesterol checked, sampling the latest craze in fitness drinks and registering for trips to Las Vegas.

O’Neill sent her “You’re Not Alone” book to Elizabeth Taylor, who read it and then responded that she and O’Neill have much in common.

Both have been married a few times and failed at relationships more than a few times. She says she was looking for love in all the wrong places. O’Neill was also shot, was in a coma for two weeks, had eight miscarriages and one abortion. She almost died three times. And just recently, O’Neill had a skin graft on her nose to help her overcome skin cancer.

As she explained in Phoenix today, O’Neill said the hurting began in her childhood when she could not get the love and attention she craved from her parents. Her parents sent her brother to boarding school, sent Jennifer’s beloved dog to the pound and moved to Manhattan.

By age 15, O’Neill was modeling in Paris as the youngest Cover Girl ever. She only wanted to make enough money to buy a horse and a dog, because animals never stop loving their masters.

“The hole in my heart started at age nine,” O’Neill said. “My parents’ love for each other was so strong that I felt invisible. I tried to be an over-achiever to please them. I developed a negative image. I was tall, skinny and immature. I took sleeping pills and was in a coma for two weeks. God took care of me before I knew Him.”

As a young adult, O’Neill thought that if she got married, she would be more fully accepted. She got involved in a co-dependent relationship and became a mother at age 21. Depression, hospitalization and therapy followed. Healing did not.

“My negative tape got longer,” O’Neill said. “I went to Manhattan and fell in love with a very powerful man.”

During their engagement, O’Neill became pregnant. Her new man already had four children; she had one. Overjoyed, she rushed straight from the doctor’s office to her fiancee’s Wall Street office to deliver the great news.

“He said, ‘you’re gonna have an abortion. I was shattered, devastated and rejected. I couldn’t believe he didn’t want our child.”

O’Neill’s parents said that she couldn’t have a baby if the father didn’t want to have it. Friends agreed with her parents.

“The doctor then spoke the lies that come straight from the pits of hell,” O’Neill recalls. “He said it’s only a glob of tissue.”

Forty-three percent of American women 45 and under have had an abortion. And 85 percent of them have been coerced – often by a man in their life – to have abortions. O’Neill was one of them – coerced and threatened.

“I folded,” O’Neill said. “I didn’t yet know God’s faithfulness. I didn’t have that strength to lean on.”

O’Neill had additional abortions. Eventually, the healing began when she accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior and then became national spokeswoman for Silent No More. Today, she says, “My child is up there (in Heaven) saying, ‘Go, Mom! Tell the truth!” as she debates pro-aborts and spreads the Silent No More message: abortion hurts women, it is not political and it should be unthinkable.

Mom and Dad are now in their 80s and O’Neill recently got her multi-linguist father to translate her latest book into Spanish. More importantly, she received her parents’ love. Her three children talked her into the title of the “Surviving Myself” book.

“After reading the book, your mother and are now pro-life,” O’Neill’s father said. “I wish your mother and I had known the truth when you came to us for help.”

O'Neill now looks for love only in Heavenly places. More than eight years ago, O’Neill married her present husband. Prior to the wedding, they did it God’s way – maintaining their abstinence. Her life has come full circle. She could easily retire from public life, rather than debate Planned Parenthood abortion-mongers. But there are too many people at risk out there, and they need to hear her message of love and forgiveness.

The Message

Love: “Love is something we choose to do; it’s a choice,” O’Neill says.

Messing up: “If you mess up, you can start again. God is the God of second and third chances. We can never get to the bottom of God’s love. I had many tears and failed relationships along the way. God has used all my messes to talk about the tough issues: sexual abuse, teen suicide, depression and more. Parents and grandparents need to keep our ears open to kids’ hurts. Teen suicide is a big problem.”

Regretting abortion: “Millions of men and women regret abortion.”

The pain of abortion: “Abortion hurts women and it hurts families. … Today, I met a grandmother who was heartbroken over her grand-daughter’s abortion.”

Opposing viewpoints: “We now have the ultrasound machine. They still say abortion is as simple as a trip to the dentist’s office. That’s when I say it’s my experience over their theory.”

Risks of abortion: “There is a good risk of depression, cancer, drug abuse, relational difficulties; abortion is not safe. Each year, there are 140,000 immediate medical needs after abortions.”

Post-abortion guilt: “There is hope, healing, grace and forgiveness. Your lives do not have to be hurtful. God died on the cross for each of us – including our abortions. With Christ, there are no more tears. He does not punish us. Our babies are in Heaven with Him and there is no recrimination. The hardest thing is to forgive ourselves, but there is hope today. The truth will set you free.” 

Weapons of mass destruction: “There are 4,000 abortions a day in the U.S. We want to make the truth of abortion known. There are free ultrasounds available. Abortion hurts families and women. Women have been pitted against their own babies. We’ve been sold a bill of goods that choice is an inalienable right.”

The early feminists: “They were pro-life and they wanted to be able to buy land."

Changing attitudes: “Seventy percent of teens today are pro-life. They looked around and figured out that one-third of their generation has been aborted.”

Adoption: “Birth mothers who place their children up for adoption are my biggest heroes.”

Rape and incest: “A majority have the child because they don’t want to perpetrate another violent act.”

Parenthood: “Today, sacrifice has bad connotations, but it has its benefits.”

Faith: “As sisters, we have to work together and lift each other up. If we speak the truth, God will bless our lives. Choose to accept God’s grace so you can be all you can be: better moms and better citizens. We all have made a mistake and through God we become whole. We don’t need to do this alone.”

Photo courtesy of Jennifer O'Neill's website