China said it had discovered many safety problems with products imported from the United States. "Inspection and quarantine units in various areas have discovered a large number of quality and safety problems with imports from the U.S.," said Chu En Lai, Quality Administrator of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine Administration. "We have reported this to the U.S. side and demanded that it look into the causes and adopt effective measures to ensure that a situation like this does not repeat itself."

Chu explained that products from the U.S. lacked what he called “precautionary additives.” “For example, American products typically do not contain lead, melamine or antifreeze,” Chu said. “Without these precautionary additives, the products are prone to deterioration, infestation, or other types of damage.”

As a case in point, Chu mentioned the discovery of sorghum halepense and other exotic harmful weeds among a shipment of soybeans. “If these were our exports we would’ve coated the beans with herbicides and pesticides to guard against such an infestation,” Chu asserted.

Some have suggested that China’s complaints may be retaliation for recent findings that some of China's exports -- ranging from toys to clothes to toothpaste -- have contained lead, melamine or antifreeze. China has asserted that the addition of these substances enhances the quality of their products.

“The antifreeze keeps the toothpaste from freezing,” Chu pointed out. “This may come in handy in colder climates. Lead keeps the paint on the children’s toys from fading.”

Chu claimed the complaints about China’s product enhancements stem from “imperialist fear of the rising Chinese dragon” and demanded that its trading partners comply with its standards. “China is the future,” Chu boasted. “Those who hope to live in this future must respect China’s standards.”

Mexican Senate Outraged over US Deportation of Illegal Immigrant Elvira Arellano

The Mexican Senate is urging President Felipe Calderon to send a stern note protesting the U.S.’s deportation of Elvira Arellano. Arellano is the illegal immigrant who had taken refuge in a Chicago church for the last year. She was apprehended and deported by U.S. authorities after she snuck out of the church and gave a speech to an illegal immigrant rights rally in Los Angeles.

“For the Americans to deny her the human right to live in freedom and prosperity and forcibly send her back here is a crime,” charged Senator Ernesto Mentiroso (PRD-Sonora). “Mexico is no place for a single woman like Senora Arellano to raise a son. The opportunities are much better in the United States.”

Mentiroso also asserted that since Arellano had already illegally entered the United States twice she should have the right to stay in America. “This woman has run the gauntlet of the American border twice,” said Mentiroso. “It is her determination to be in America. It should be her right to stay in America.”

The Senate approved a scholarship to help Arellano’s 8-year-old U.S.-born son, Saul, “should he suffer the misfortune of ending up in Mexico like his mother.” Saul is still in the United States.

Dems Slam President Bush's Comparison of Iraq to Vietnam

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) has denounced the speech President Bush’s gave on the “War on Terror” to the Veterans of Foreign Wars. “President Bush's attempt to compare the war in Iraq to past military conflicts in East Asia ignores the fundamental difference between the two,” Reid said. “In the case of Vietnam, Presidents Kennedy and Johnson carefully built a measured response at the invitation of South Vietnam’s President Diem. It was only when Nixon assumed the presidency that things started to go downhill. It was a Democratic congress that courageously ‘pulled the plug,’ extricating our troops from the quagmire. The region has been at peace for the last 30 years—many of the Vietnamese were reeducated by the new government. Others were able to take ocean cruises—thus, vindicating the wisdom of our withdrawal.”

“Iraq is different,” Reid said. “President Bush took it upon himself to unilaterally launch his war of aggression against a nation and a regime that had done us no harm. The result is another quagmire that we Democrats have been endeavoring to extricate ourselves from. The President continues to insist on victory, but the war is lost. It is too late to change that now. Congress will again work to ensure that it is not changed.”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) echoed Reid’s remarks: “The American people have already judged the President’s war in Iraq as the wrong war at the wrong time. President Bush shouldn’t be trying to change their minds by offering false lessons from history. The American people want our nation to refocus its efforts. There are more pressing issues that need to be resolved. Our marriage laws need to be made gender-neutral. Health care needs to be nationalized. And the Bush tax cuts need to be rescinded.”

Presidential candidate, Senator Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) acknowledged that the President’s “surge” strategy seems to be working, but called for Bush to “bring the troops home before any more damage is done to my presidential campaign.” “The American people are not expecting success, they are not prepared for success, it could be too big of a shock to the system,” Clinton contended.

Clinton recommended that before the troops come home they should first depose Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki to “shake things up—like we did in Vietnam when we deposed Diem.”

In related news, al-Maliki said if U.S. troops pull out, he will “find friends elsewhere.” His aides are said to be working on a profile to be posted on “MySpace.com.”

South Carolina Prisoners “Pretty in Pink”

South Carolina's State Corrections Department director John Ozmint defended a policy of punishing inmates who openly perform sex acts by dressing them in pink. "We don't believe the United States Constitution protects an inmate's right to publicly gratify himself," Ozmint said. "We're hopeful federal courts won't look into our Constitution and create such a right."

Under the Corrections Department’s policy, inmates found performing sex acts in front of corrections officers may be required to trade their customary tan jumpsuit in for a pink one, which must be worn for three months. Several hundred inmates have suffered this punishment over the past two years.

Inmate Sherone Nealous has filed a lawsuit claiming the rule subjects prisoners to undue ridicule. Nealous says the Corrections Department "is infringing on my pursuit of happiness. I have a right to share intimacy with my cellmate. This pink suit puts me in physical danger. They’re already calling me ‘Sharon,’ ‘Sherry Baby’ and ‘Sweet Ass’ because of it. It’s a threat to a person's manhood.”

The Human Rights Watch is supporting Nealous’ lawsuit. "Forcing public sodomites and masturbaters to wear these outfits is degrading and unhealthy,” said Homer Buttram, spokesman for Human Rights Watch.

Buttram said he is confident the court will rule against the prison. "The court has already said that inmates are entitled to pornography,” Buttram said. “These other acts are a natural follow-on behavior that the prison should be accommodating, not penalizing.” Buttram pointed out that in France, prisoners are prescribed Viagra and suggested that South Carolina could rectify the problem by granting the prisoners more privacy by adding curtains or drapes to the cells.

Nealous, is currently serving a 10-year sentence for assault and battery with intent to kill.

Democratic Presidential Candidates Call for More Government Intervention in Mortgage Credit

The rising tide of turmoil in the home mortgage market has inspired several Democratic presidential contenders to call for increased government involvement in the issue. In a debate moderated by George Stephanopolous of ABC News in Des Moines, Iowa, candidates gave the following responses.

Senator Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) asserted that the mortgage crisis points to the need for more government controls. "Finance is too complicated to just be left to the banks,” Clinton said. “The federal government under my leadership will use its expertise to determine who should and shouldn’t get loans.”

Former vice-presidential candidate, Senator John Edwards (D-N.C.) repeated his call for the creation of a "home rescue fund" and a crackdown on "predatory lending." As a show of “good faith,” Edwards promised to sell his shares in the Fortress Investment Predatory Lending Group. “I will sacrifice millions in additional profit I could’ve made from this investment,” Edwards offered. “Will my opponents do as much?”

The Wall Street Journal reported that the Fortress Investment Predatory Lending Group has been actively exploiting New Orleans homeowners struggling to overcome Katrina's aftermath.

Representative Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) contended that the government should give money to whoever needs it. “The government has the power to create money,” Kucinich said. “It should use that power to ensure that everyone has as much money as they need.”

Gov. Bill Richardson (D-N.M.) suggested that the mortgage industry should be controlled by “someone from outside the industry” because those in the industry “possess imbalanced knowledge compared to borrowers.”