Major Stephen Coughlin, the U.S. Department of Defense’s top authority on Islamic war doctrine, was ousted from his job as an intelligence analyst for the Joint Chiefs of Staff, for mentioning the connection between Islam and terror. Hesham Islam, an aide to Deputy Defense Secretary Gordon England, was deemed instrumental in Coughlin’s dismissal.

Coughlin had prepared briefings warning that major U.S. Muslim groups were fronting for Muslim terrorist groups. Hersham Islam is involved with one of these groups--the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA)--which has been named in a major terror funding case.

In a 333-page report, Coughlin warned that the Quran and other Islamic texts make clear that it is an obligatory requirement for Muslims to wage jihad against non-Muslims and that this requirement is also routinely taught in Saudi schools. Coughlin says this may explain why Saudi Arabia is the largest foreign source of suicide bombers in Iraq.

In contrast, Deputy Secretary England, who has made a major effort to ingratiate himself with ISNA and other front groups, has characterized Coughlin as “excessively negative.” “The constant emphasis on the Islamic connection to terrorism offends Muslims, undermining the President’s efforts to portray Islam as a religion of peace,” England said. “If we can just be more positive about Islam in our words and thoughts, it will have an uplifting effect on our relations with these people.”

Critics have dubbed England’s approach the “Peter Pan Plan,” citing the close parallel of his policy to a quote from the character Wendy in the movie who says: “You just think happy thoughts. They lift you into the air.”  

Abbas Calls Israeli Retaliation “Inexcusable Escalation”

Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas says he will resign from his post if Israel continues its military operations in the West Bank and Gaza Strip. Abbas strongly condemned Israel's attacks as a "severe blow" to the peace process.

Abbas dismissed Israel’s contention that the incursions were necessary in order to combat Palestinian rocket attacks on Israel. “These are all Palestinian lands,” Abbas argued. “We are entitled to use them as we please. If Jews feel threatened by how we use these lands they are free to leave.”

An emergency meeting of the PLO Executive Committee in Ramallah discussed the latest upsurge in violence and its impact on the peace process and concluded that Israeli refusal to vacate Muslim lands was an “unbearable provocation.” “Until this provocation is removed, there is no hope for peace,” Abbas avowed.

Kevorkian on “Short List” for Cabinet Post in Next Democratic Administration

The name of Jack Kevorkian, infamous for his role in “assisting” the “suicide” of depressed individuals, is being bandied about in discussions of what the next Democratic administration’s cabinet might look like. Possible positions are said to include Surgeon General, Secretary of Health and Human Services, and Social Security Commissioner.

Pointing out that “Kevorkian brings the same kind of rational compassion to ‘end-of-life’ issues that abortion handles at the earliest stages,” Democratic National Committee Chairman, Dr. Howard Dean said it “is only natural that his name would come up in the context of forecasting who might serve in the upcoming Democratic administration.”

While conceding that Surgeon General or a post in H&HS might seem most logical, Dean suggested that heading up the Social Security Administration might be the best fit.

“Everybody knows that Social Security is headed for bankruptcy,” Dean reminded. “Increases in longevity since the program was founded are draining the trust fund’s resources. Reversing this trend would go a long way toward making the program more fiscally manageable.”

“Look, when Social Security was established in the 1930s, average life expectancy was 57 years,” Dean continued. “The majority of people died before they reached the 65-year-old retirement age. Today, average life expectancy is 75 years. The overwhelming majority are collecting Social Security benefits, many for a decade or more. Establishing ‘assisted termination’ as an accepted medical practice, as Kevorkian has been urging, would help rectify the situation.”

Dems Trade Barbs in Nevada Primary

The three major rivals for the Democratic presidential nomination stepped up the intensity of their campaign rhetoric in an effort to win delegates in Nevada.

Former senator John Edwards (D-N.C.) denounced Senator Barack Obama's comments regarding former president Ronald Reagan’s impact to bring “change” to America. “Reagan’s policies were particularly hard on trial lawyers, who I don’t think I need to remind you, are the real agents of change in this country,” Edwards asserted. “Without their intervention, wealth would be disproportionately distributed to investors and producers—leaving the improvident and inept to remain victims of their own deficiencies. The fact that Senator Obama overlooks these key agents of change in his rush to lionize a man who stood for everything that’s wrong with this country, shows he is unfit to be president.”

Senator Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) alleged that the Obama campaign was resorting to intimidation and confusion among voters, calling such tactics “unsuitable in a primary election.” “There is a proper time and place for everything,” Clinton said. “Now is not the time. The primary is not the place. Senator Obama’s ignorance of such nuances raises serious questions about his judgment. It’s obvious that he hasn’t done the spadework necessary to lead this country.”

Senator Barack Obama (D-Ill.) said that, "Reagan changed the trajectory of America in a way that Bill Clinton did not. I think it's fair to say that the Republicans were the party of ideas for a pretty long chunk of time there over the last 10 to 15 years in the sense that they were challenging conventional wisdom. This is more than Mrs. Clinton has ever done—either as a senator or as the so-called ‘assistant president’ she claims she was when her husband was diddling the interns."

In related news, Senator Clinton promised that when she is elected president she will establish a cabinet-level Department of the Internet to “help restore order to a very disorderly environment.” “Right now, anyone can go on the internet and say whatever they want,” Clinton observed. “This leads to a lot of misinformation. We need a stronger government presence to bring more structure and credibility to this anarchic and chaotic sphere.”

Proposed California Regulation to Centralize Control Over Home Thermostats

Despite urgent pleas to adopt more environmentally acceptable lifestyles, most people continue their profligate ways—driving personal automobiles (often SUVs), excessively heating/cooling their homes, bathing too frequently, eating meat etc.

While attention to all these bad habits will eventually be granted, the State of California is presently taking aim at the home thermostat. A proposed revision to the state’s environmental statute (so-called Title 24) calls for all homes to ultimately be equipped with a "programmable communicating thermostat" or PCT. These PCTs would be linked with central computers enabling government officials to monitor and manage conditions in each home.

If home owners are wastefully setting summer temperatures too low or winter temperatures too high, government officials would be able to reset home thermostats to a proper temperature from a central location using the PCTs.

“People may think they know what they’re doing when they set the temperatures in their homes, but they don’t,” declared Olive Overman, spokesperson for the California Energy Commission. “They’re only focused on personal comfort. They’re oblivious to the global implications of their choices. The collective welfare of all is our concern. These new devices will enable us to implement a more correct and uniform approach to meeting society’s needs.”

John Semmens got his start writing about politics for his college newspaper. Since then, he has written more than 600 articles that have been published. In addition to "Semi-News," John's opinion pieces have appeared in many newspapers around the country--including the Wall Street Journal, Washington Times, and many others.