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JOHN SEMMENS: Semi-News

DeLay's Prosecutors Goof on Key Document

October 22, 2005

 

Travis County prosecutors admitted Friday they lack physical proof of a list of Republican candidates that is at the heart of money-laundering indictments against U.S. Rep. Tom DeLay and two of his associates.

The list is key to prosecutors being able to prove that corporate money that could not be legally spent on Texas candidates was specifically exchanged at the national level for donations that legally could be spent on Republican candidates for the Texas House.

But prosecutors were forced to admit that they were mistaken. "What we thought was a list of recipients of illegal campaign donations turned out to be the roster of a donkey softball team DeLay was organizing to play in a charity event," said county prosecutor Ronnie Earle. "While we are persuaded that the donkey aspect of the proposed softball game is intended to humiliate Democrats, we doubt we can convince a jury to send DeLay to prison for such an offense. Obviously, we are going to have to cook something else up."

UN Report: Wars Less Frequent, Less Deadly

Wars around the world are both less frequent and less deadly since the end of the Cold War, a new United Nations report claims. The Human Security Report found that the number of armed conflicts has fallen by more than 40 percent in the past 13 years, while the number of very deadly wars has fallen by 80 percent.

Even the biggest claimed casualty estimate for the Iraq War-- 60,000 battle deaths per year -- falls far short of battle deaths recorded in 1950 (about 700,000).

The report inspired another round of criticism of the Bush Administration.

"This report shows that President Bush is not living up to the standards set by Democrats," said Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA). "Democrats have always given America more impressive wars. Franklin Roosevelt's World War II spanned three continents. Truman finished that one off with an atomic attack. Five years later, he gave us the Korean War. Before he was assassinated, my brother set the stage for the Vietnam War. These were wars of substance. Bush has given us only a piddling little fight with Iraq, with few casualties. This proves he is not one of the great presidents."

"The Iraq War pales in comparison to Vietnam," said Senator John Kerry (D-MA). "Back then we had a celebrity of the caliber of Jane Fonda taunting American troops from inside enemy territory. We had war veterans recounting lurid tales of atrocities committed by U.S. troops. Today, we see a pathetic anti-war movement led by a demented Cindy Sheehan. The alleged atrocities at Gitmo are namby-pamby. Where is the rape and pillage?"

"This trend toward fewer war deaths is a conspiracy between Bush and big business," said Howard Dean, Democratic National Committee Chairman. "They just want to sell more cars, oil, and other stuff. They don't care about people. They're pure evil."

Five Times More Anti-Jew than Anti-Muslim Hate Crimes

The FBI has released its annual report "2004 Crime in the United States." The entire report can be read at: http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/cius_04/index.html

Anti-Jewish hate crimes had 1,076 victims. Anti-Muslim hate crimes had 201 victims.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) took issue with the report, declaring it is mere Zionist propaganda.

"Inasmuch as the Quran clearly establishes that Jews are monkeys, any actions taken against them cannot be crimes," said Husaam Udeen. "The real crime is continued resistance to the word of Allah. Of this, all infidels are guilty and merit the most severe punishment."

The Safe-Sex Clinton Legacy

A new study by the National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS) indicates that oral sex is prevalent among teens. Surveys showed that reports of former president Bill Clinton's participation in this activity was a factor influencing teens.

While this report has inspired disgust in some circles, Clinton tried to put a good face on it.

"Look, oral sex is safe sex," said Clinton. "No one gets pregnant. It doesn't lead to abortions. It's quick and easy--you can even multi-task if you are the recipient. You don't need any special equipment. I think I deserve some credit for setting an example young people are following."

Amnesia Now Asset for Judges

Since Senate Democrats insist that no nominee to serve on the Supreme Court can express any doubts about the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision universally legalizing abortion by overturning every state law placing limits on the practice, President Bush has been forced to appoint individuals who cannot recall ever having an opinion on this crucial issue.

First John Roberts and now Harriet Meiers, Bush's two nominees for openings on the Supreme Court, have both replied to questions regarding this famous case asserting that they cannot recall ever discussing it.

While this hardly seems plausible, President Bush says he fully accepts the sincerity of this avowed memory loss. "I've forgotten lots of stuff," said Bush. "Just the other day I was reminded that I could've vetoed some of the budget-busting bills passed by Congress. I had completely forgotten that, as president, I had such authority. Even now, I'm not sure I believe it, but credible sources assure me that it's in the Constitution."

Senator Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.) sees amnesia as a definite plus for judges.

"Inability to remember the past opens the door to judicial creativity. It is vital to the concept of a living Constitution that can change with the times."

Saddam Heads to Iraq Court

Saddam Hussein is on trial on charges of crimes against humanity for the killing of over 140 Shi'ite Muslim men two decades ago.

Prosecutors say the men, from the town of Dujail, north of Baghdad, were ordered killed after a failed attempt on the then leader's life as he visited the town in July 1982. Scores of families from Dujail are also said to have been persecuted.

The day in court for the former dictator has been long awaited by Iraqis and many others, but it may not last long.

Senior Iraqi officials and sources close to the tribunal conducting the trial say proceedings are likely to be adjourned, perhaps even on the first day, so that judges can study defense motions for a dismissal or delay.

Saddam's chief lawyer, Khalil Dulaimi, said he intends to challenge the legitimacy of the court. "A defendant is entitled to a jury of his peers," said Dulaimi. "In Iraq, Saddam is peerless. He was exalted above all others by the Iraqi law in existence before the war."

Dulaimi is also expected to petition the court for more time to study the evidence against his client, saying that 45 days are not sufficient. "Saddam has ordered so many executions that he cannot remember any specific instances," said Dulaimi. "Records were destroyed and many witnesses have simply disappeared. It could take decades to recreate a full picture of what happened."

In the run-up to the trial, human rights groups have raised concerns about the independence of the court and its ability to meet international standards for major criminal proceedings. Human Rights Watch has expressed unease about limits on the ability of the accused to mount a defense.

"We have grave concerns that the sheer number of his victims will overwhelm the court's ability to see Saddam as a human being rather than a blood-thirsty tyrant," said Richard Dicker, the director of Human Rights Watch's international justice program.

Even if Saddam escapes being convicted in this trial his estimated 500,000+ victims are expected to provide ample opportunities for subsequent trials. A commonly expressed regret among many Iraqis is that Saddam cannot be executed more than once.

"Saddam Hussein is a war criminal and deserves to be executed 20 times a day for his crimes," said Iraqi President Jalal Talabani. Although Talabani has also said that he personally opposes the death penalty, "In this case, I would make an exception."

Meanwhile, militants from Iraq's dismantled former ruling Baath Party have threatened to launch missile attacks in support of the former dictator. "Our army," said self-styled General Aaryan Dildawh gesturing to two scruffy, aromatic men behind him, "will carry on Saddam's legacy by spreading death to all who oppose him." The two "troops" nodded in agreement.

Poor "Six Times More Likely" to Be Murdered

A report by the Crime and Society Foundation found that people living in poverty are almost six times more likely to be murdered than richer members of society. Over the last 20 years, the murder rate for the richest top 10 per cent of society has fallen by 5 percent. However, the poorest 10 per cent now face an increased risk of almost 40 percent.

The Reverend Al Sharpton had some sharp words for the perpetrators, "You dolts. The brothers haven't got the money. Whitey's got the money."

Sharpton called on government to provide better and more extensive public transportation. "Bus routes connecting poor neighborhoods with rich neighborhoods must be beefed up," said Sharpton. "Poor people need better access to where the money is."

Palestinian Authority Claims It Stopped 17 Terror Attacks

The Palestinian Authority (PA) capped a largely disastrous first month of rule in the Gaza Strip with an announcement late Saturday night that it prevented 17 terrorist attacks and confiscated a significant amount of weapons.

The PA Interior Ministry, which controls the various Palestinian security branches, issued the security report, highlighting the confiscation of 75 mines and 15 Kassam rockets, which it said were to be used against Israel.

PA security forces around the border town of Rafah also blocked up two smuggling tunnels and prevented seven smuggling attempts from the Egyptian side.

The PA, said a source close to Interior Minister Nasser Yousef, was experimenting with a new policy. "We are both planning and investigating terror attacks," said the spokesman. "This way, we know where the perpetrators are and can achieve high arrest rates. Of course, we will have to allow some planned attacks to go forward to serve as a benchmark for the carnage we are preventing by the arrests."

"Eventually, the arrestees will be released," said the spokesman. "The seized weapons sold on the black market. The recently released arrestees will buy them. This will help us to raise money to continue our efforts to simulate a crackdown."


John Semmens got his start writing about politics for his college newspaper. Since then, he has written more than 400 articles that have been published. In addition to "Semi-News," John writes a recurring column for the East Valley Tribune.

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