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JOHN SEMMENS: Semi-News
Nomination of Judge Alito Assailed November 4, 2005
Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.) asserted, "The Supreme Court is our nation's ultimate lawmaking authority. If confirmed, Judge Alito could fundamentally alter the balance of the Court and push it dangerously toward a rigid respect for the Constitution, placing at risk decades of American progress toward a comprehensive and caring welfare state." Kennedy also criticized the sex of the nominee. "The president's failure to appoint a woman to fill a woman's seat is an affront to women everywhere," said Kennedy. "To even be considered, Judge Alito must agree to undergo gender reassignment surgery." Senator Harry Reid (D-Nev.) also condemned Bush's choice. "I want to know why the president wants to pack the Court with experienced judges who are ideologically committed to respecting the Constitution. This is not the balanced approach we Democrats have advised." Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-VT) called the nomination “needlessly provocative.” "Judge Alito's record on the bench demonstrates that he would go to great lengths to restrict the authority of the Court to enact legislation to promote the general welfare," said Leahy. The American Civil Liberties Union criticized the record of Judge Samuel Alito. "Alito is not an appropriate replacement for the outgoing Sandra Day O’Connor," said Steven R. Shapiro, the ACLU's National Legal Director. “In Planned Parenthood v. Casey, Judge Alito voted to uphold a state law that required women to notify their husbands before having their unborn child surgically excised. Justice O'Connor joined with a majority of the Court in concluding otherwise.” Representative Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) vowed to vote against Alito and join in a filibuster if necessary to block his nomination. This threat was downplayed by the White House, though. "Only senators get to vote on court nominees," said Scott McClelland, White House press secretary. "It looks like Ms. Pelosi may need a remedial class on the Constitution." Streisand Wants President Bush Impeached Retired pop singer and political expert, Barbara Streisand, says President Bush ought to be impeached for recklessly and dishonestly dragging America into war with Iraq. "We went to war because we were misled by President Bush," said Streisand. "People, people who mislead people are the yuckiest people in the world." Streisand elaborated on her political philosophy by saying, "The people of America are all children, letting their grown-up pride hide all the need inside. America needs one person, one very special person, to ensure there will be no more hunger and thirst." Streisand declined to say who that one very special person might be, but adamantly denied it could be George Bush. “Liberals are a very special kind of people,” said Streisand. “One of them will be our savior.” Carter Says White House Rushed into Iraq War Former President Jimmie Carter denounced Bush's Iraq policy as "a hasty rush to war." "When I was president, Iran took our embassy hostage," said Carter. "I kept my cool." Carter alleged that his strategy in dealing with Iran was to set up a program to aggressively string out the negotiations until most of the hostages qualified for Social Security retirement benefits. Then America could strike back by launching a dramatic appeal to world sympathy for the surviving aged and infirm captives. "If America had followed my lead, we'd probably be on the verge of repatriating most of the hostages about now," said Carter. "I'd be building them retirement homes with my bare hands." Carter contrasted what he characterized as his "feel good" approach to President Bush's cruel efforts to overturn Iraq's despotic traditional culture by forcing democracy on a people accustomed to torture and oppression. Iran Removes Ambassadors and Diplomats Iran's hard-line government said it was removing supporters of warmer ties with the West from their posts in a shake-up that comes as the Islamic republic takes a more confrontational international stance. Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki announced the changes to parliament, saying "the missions of more than 40 ambassadors and heads of Iranian diplomatic missions abroad will expire by the end of the year," which is March 20 under the Iranian calendar. The firings include the ambassador to London, Mohammad Hossein Adeli, one of Iran's top diplomats and a leading member of the pragmatic foreign policy wing that supports contacts with Europe. Mottaki, quoted by the state-run Islamic Republic News Agency, explained, "A careful review of Adeli's communications detected a significant shortfall in his use of the required 'death to America' salutation. This raises questions about his commitment to current Iranian policy. Whether measures beyond removing him from office are needed will be taken under consideration." Possible additional measures are reputed to include amputation of the tongue that did not speak the required words and/or the hand that did not write them. Democrats Defend Racist Smears Democratic leaders in Maryland say that racially tinged attacks against Lt. Gov. Michael S. Steele in his bid for the U.S. Senate are fair because he is a conservative Republican. Such attacks against the first black man to win a statewide election in Maryland include pelting him with Oreo cookies during a campaign appearance, calling him an "Uncle Tom" and depicting him as a black-faced minstrel on a liberal web log. State Sen. Lisa A. Gladden, a Baltimore Democrat, said "Moderation in pursuit of electoral victory is no virtue and racism in defense of liberalism is no vice." Delegate Salima Siler Marriott, another Baltimore Democrat, said, "People like Mr. Steele undermine the welfare-client status of blacks. This is a direct threat to the Democratic Party. Anything we can do to deny him elected office is legitimate." A mock lynching is in the works, but no date has yet been set for the event. Making an effigy out of Oreo cookies has apparently presented some technical difficulties. Muslim Youth Riot in Paris Rioting Muslim youths are engaged in a spate of violence in Paris. Shots were fired at police and fire crews as they battled youths who torched car dealerships, public buses and a school. So far, more than 300 vehicles have been destroyed. Jean-Francois Cordet, the top government official for the troubled Seine-Saint-Denis region north of Paris said he is at a loss on what to do next. "Our police have been employing our basic policy of strategic capitulation, but it doesn't seem to be having the same salubrious effects it has in the past," said Cordet. "In 1940, strategic capitulation quickly led to peace between France and Germany. These Muslim ruffians do not play by civilized rules." France's government has been working overtime composing an apology to the Muslim community. "Our hope is that by cravenly abasing ourselves we will be spared further harm," said Louis Louis III, spokesman for the French Ministry of Apology. "We are also considering offers of delectable pastries as an inducement for rioters to reduce the arson to more moderate levels." U.N. Fears War Between Ethiopia and Eritrea A senior U.N. official monitoring the tense Ethiopian-Eritrean border said Thursday he fears an unauthorized war is possible after both sides moved troops and military hardware significantly closer to the border region during recent days. Maj. Gen. Rajender Singh, commander of U.N. peacekeepers in Ethiopia and Eritrea, said, "This war is completely illegal. Neither side has filed the appropriate paperwork." Singh said he will call upon the U.N. leadership to launch an immediate debate at a trendy restaurant somewhere on New York City's east side. Zarqawi Faces Daunting Task Islamist butcher Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who declared ''a fierce war on this evil principle of democracy" and threatened to kill anyone who took part in the elections, now must slay 79 percent of the adult population of Iraq or suffer humiliation for failure to carry out this threat. Thus far, Zarqawi's demands that Iraqi voters present themselves to Al Qaeda for beheading have proven fruitless. Complaints about shortages of bullets and bombs have also been heard through intelligence intercepts. Morale amongst Zarqawi's troops hit a low when the budget line granting $2 billion to Al Qaeda was stricken from the Katrina relief bill by what Al Jazeera called "zionist zealots in the U.S. Congress." Zarwaqi reportedly is said to fear he may have to go back on unemployment compensation if something better doesn't turn up soon. Cheney Appointment to Replace Libby Decried Senator Joe Biden (D-DE) said he has done some research on this latest change in personnel. He characterized his findings as shocking. “The American people should know that this Paddington isn’t even an American citizen,” said Biden. “Apparently, he has been living with the Brown family at 32 Windsor Gardens, London. He originally came from Peru as a stowaway in a ship's lifeboat. And now Cheney wants this person to be his national security advisor.” Biden demanded an immediate investigation. Thomas "Tubby" Thompson, speaking for the vice president's office, suggested that Senator Biden might be a bit off course. "The vice-president has appointed David Addington,” said Thompson. "The description given by Senator Biden most closely conforms to a cartoon bear named Paddington. I think the Democrats are losing touch with reality.” John Semmens'
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President
Bush’s nomination of Judge Samuel Alito to fill the vacancy created by
Sandra O'Connor's resignation from the Supreme Court sparked an
outpouring of complaints.