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JOHN SEMMENS: Semi-News

Top Democrat on Ethics Panel Charged with Ethics Violation

April 13, 2006

The senior Democrat on the House ethics committee said he won't step down from his post. Rep. Alan Mollohan (D-W.V.) accused Republicans of orchestrating the complaint by a congressional watchdog group and then using it to call for him to leave the ethics committee.

The National Legal and Policy Center said it filed a complaint with federal prosecutors, alleging that Mollohan committed over 250 offenses and consistently undervalued assets on congressional financial reports and also omitted assets.

"I don't see why I should step down," said Mollohan. "All I did was fudge my income statement to save on taxes. Everybody does that. Besides, 250 offenses is less than one a week. What's the big deal?"

Democrats have made ethics a major campaign issue this election year. They accused Republicans of allowing "a culture of corruption" that included an influence-peddling scandal involving a former lobbyist, Jack Abramoff. Republicans have blamed Democrats for partisan battles that have kept the evenly divided ethics committee from opening any major investigations since the current Congress convened in January 2005.

Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said she would not ask Mollohan to step down. "It's not as if he's a Republican or anything," said Pelosi. "They're the ones who should be stepping down."

Mollohan said the complaint is unfair. "Corruption is our issue," said Mollohan. "We have dibs on it. They're just copycats. It's not fair."

The National Legal and Policy Center began investigating Mollohan's assets after his financial disclosure reports showed a significant jump in his net worth between 2000 and 2004. Mollohan's 2000 report indicated he had assets worth between $170,012 to $562,000 and liabilities of $170,000 to $465,000. Mollohan's 2004 report showed he had assets of $6.3 million to $24.9 million and liabilities of $3.66 million to $13.5 million.

Mollohan says he made the money from "wise investments."

Affleck Finds Bush Guilty of Treason

In a ruling many are calling historic, actor and “legal expert” Ben Affleck has determined that President Bush's permission for Scooter Libby to reveal selected classified information is "high treason" punishable by death. Accordingly, Affleck has sentenced President Bush to be hanged.

U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said that while a ruling from such a source could be construed as "unorthodox," our judicial system ought to be flexible enough to incorporate innovations that have merit. "Our laws already acknowledge the power of a 'citizen's arrest,'" said Ginsburg. "A 'citizen's judicial ruling' may be the next logical step in the evolution of American law."

Affleck's ruling gave President Bush 30 days to file an appeal with the Screen Actors' Guild. Thus far, the President has not indicated how he intends to respond to Affleck's ruling.

Dutch Politician Wants to Punish Educated Mothers

Sharon Dijksma, a leading parliamentarian of the Dutch Labour Party (PvdA) wants to penalize educated stay-at-home women. Dijksma's plan is to require college graduates who do not participate in the commercial labor force to repay the government for the cost of their education.

"A highly-educated woman who chooses to stay at home and not to work -- that is destruction of capital," Dijksma said in an interview. "If you receive the benefit of an education at society's expense, you should not be allowed to throw away that knowledge unpunished. If the state educates you, the state owns you, so to speak."

The Labour Party is enthusiastic about this breakthrough idea. Member of Parliament Egrid Glutenhammer urges that the concept be extended to cover everyone educated in any public school. "Citizens who have the benefit of a public education--to any level--owe the state for that education," said Glutenhammer. "Anyone who is under-employed in a job not befitting their level of education should make recompense to the state."

The largest segment of the population affected by this would be all stay-at-home mothers. Examples of others affected include college graduates working in occupations such as waiting on tables, taxi driving and retail sales clerk.

The complexity of the envisioned regulation will require the establishment of a new Bureau of Education/Employment Parity. "Establishment of the BE/EP will create employment opportunities for many college graduates," said Glutenhammer. "Stay-at-home mothers could avoid penalties by taking these jobs, thus, neatly solving the problem of under-utilized education."

French Students Plan More Protests

French students, buoyed by President Jacques Chirac's sudden cave-in on a youth employment law, vowed to hold protests to try to get rid of other obnoxious laws. Students declared victory after Chirac dumped the measure that had spurred nationwide unrest, paralyzed high schools and universities and discredited the government. Energized students decided to go ahead with the day of action to consign other laws to the garbage heap.

Jacques Esse, one of the leaders of the student movement, said he is taking aim at the laws of supply and demand. "Prices and wages shouldn't be allowed to fluctuate," said Esse. "This allows capitalists to profiteer from the peoples' needs. The government should ensure that goods are affordable. This means keeping prices low and wages high. That way, everyone will be able to afford a good living. The National Assembly must repeal the laws of supply and demand and replace them with a more humane price-control policy."

Saudi Recipient of Threat Jailed

Rabah Al-Quwayi, a 24-year old journalist has been arrested by Saudi police in response to his complaint about his car being vandalized.

Last November when al-Quwayi was a part-time reporter for the Okaz newspaper, complained to police that his was vandalized and a note was left on the dashboard that said: "In the name of God, the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful: This time it is your car but next time it is you. Return to your religion and forsake heresy. This is the last warning."

Al-Quwayi said authorities contacted him asking him to come in and fill out some paperwork related to his complaint of harassment. He was immediately arrested upon arrival. Police told him they had discarded his complaints of harassment and opened a new investigation into his Islamic faith.

Police chief Yasser al-Nowiser says al-Quwayi brought it on himself. "If he hadn't published his doubts about the Islamic faith, he wouldn't have been harassed and threatened," said al-Nowiser. "The law is quite clear on this matter. Doubts are not permitted."

Al-Nowiser praised the actions of those who vandalized al-Quwayi's car. "The benefits of this warning are two-fold," said al-Nowiser. "On the one hand, it served to remind al-Quwayi of his obligation to Islam. On the other, it brought this apostasy to the attention of the police. We have limited resources. We cannot be everywhere at all times. The vigilance of the faithful is essential if the will of Allah is to be enforced."

Hamas Wants to Regulate Gaza Violence

The new Hamas-led Palestinian government working to control a surge in violence, urging rival militant groups in the Gaza Strip to refrain from launching rockets at Israel without official permission. Hamas says it still supports violence against Israel, but wants it to be more focused.

"We don't want to stifle the enthusiasm for attacking Israel," said government spokesman Ghazi Hamad. "But we do want attacks to be arranged and organized."

Henceforth, those wishing to launch attacks against Israel will be required to fill out an "attack application" specifying the weapons to be used, the area to be assaulted and the civilians to be killed. "We need to thoroughly review attack plans to ensure that damage is maximized while risk is minimized," said Hamad. "For example, attacks on Israeli army units are strictly forbidden due to the high risk. Targets involving a high proportion
of women and children have the best risk/reward profile."

There will also be an application fee, but the amount has not yet been established. "We need to cover the cost of regulating the activity," said Hamad. "Many government officials must be compensated. At the same time, we don't want to put too high of a price on it. Even a poor Palestinian should be able to afford the cost of killing Jews."

In related news, Iran asserts its plan to conquer the world for Islam can't be stopped. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad vowed he would not back down "one iota" over Iran's nuclear program, again rejecting a UN Security Council demand for Teheran to freeze sensitive enrichment work. "Our enemies know they are unable to stop us and they cannot create the tiniest obstacle to our glorious march to a global caliphate," said Ahmadinejad. "We are invincible. All will cower before our might. All must submit or die."

Feingold Says He Supports Same-Sex “Marriage”

Sen. Russ Feingold (D-Wis.), a potential presidential candidate, said he supports giving homosexuals the right to marry. "I want the gay people in our country to know I stand behind them, ready to thrust myself into the breach on their behalf," said Feingold.

To show his solidarity with the homosexual agenda, Feingold announced he was divorcing his wife in order to make himself eligible for a possible homosexual marriage. "My wife Mary has been very understanding concerning my need to do this," said Feingold. "I'm not just going to talk-the-talk. I'm going to walk-the-walk of a homosexual person."

Feingold insisted that he is not homosexual, but is doing this as a matter of principle. "People have varied reasons for marrying," said Feingold. "I feel I will be a better spokesman for homosexual rights if I can experience the discrimination for myself."

Feingold's office is now taking applications from men willing to marry him.

Napolitano Vetoes Fetal Pain Legislation

Arizona's governor has vetoed a bill that would require abortionists to tell women that their unborn babies may suffer pain during abortion. The legislation, HB 2254, would have required that a woman at least 20 weeks pregnant be told that her unborn child has the physical structures necessary to experience pain and be offered an anesthetic drug injected directly to the child before it is torn apart in the abortion procedure.

Gov. Janet Napolitano, a Democrat who has vetoed pro-life legislation in the past, said, "This legislation is a thinly-veiled attempt to introduce doubt and deter women from having abortions. Instead of abortion being perceived as a mere medical procedure, this measure would remind women that another person's life and well-being are at stake. Obviously, some women will change their minds once they hear such information. As the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled, women have the unabridgable right to terminate their unborn children. Legislatures are not authorized to complicate this life-changing choice by insisting that women receive information other than that provided by doctors, Planned Parenthood and similar clinics offering the procedure."

John Semmens got his start writing about politics for his college newspaper. Since then, he has written more than 500 articles that have been published. In addition to "Semi-News," John writes a recurring column for the East Valley Tribune.

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