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JOHN SEMMENS: Semi-News
DNC Says North Korean Bomb Test 'Another Bush Failure' Oct. 12, 2006 Dean cited Bush’s discontinuation of the Clinton Administration’s “two pronged” approach. “The Clinton Administration’s policy slant and diversionary tactics fended off North Korea’s development of nuclear weapons for eight years,” said Dean. “But those gains have been frittered away by a clueless Republican administration.” Dean described the “policy slant prong” as a solid “thrust to the left” that reassured North Korea’s Communist government that “time was on the side of progressive reform in America.” “With Democrats taking the lead, North Korea could be confident that there was basic agreement on the big issues of governance,” said Dean. “The need to develop nuclear weapons was, thus, shown to be misplaced.” According to Dean, the specific examples of policies that promoted a “convergence of the two nations’ social and political programs” included the Clinton Administration’s efforts to nationalize health care and its opposition to tax cuts. “A nationalized healthcare system is a major feature of progressive regimes like the one in North Korea,” Dean observed. “By working toward such a system in America, Democrats convey a message of hope to nations that many have characterized as our enemies.” “Opposing tax cuts is essential if the United States is going to make the transition to full social democracy,” Dean continued. “Atomistic individualism is a barrier to the collective well-being of the whole. The resources of the nation belong to all. An effective tax system helps put control of more of these resources into the hands of the government, where it should be.” The “diversionary tactic prong” consisted of the high-profile sex scandal initiated by President Clinton. “Kim Il Jong’s interest in pornography is legendary,” Dean pointed out. “By inundating the media with stories of lewd and promiscuous behavior, Clinton was able to distract Kim pursuing nuclear weaponry. Bush, in contrast, has run a dull and boring administration. There has been nothing of abiding interest to distract North Korea from its weapons program.” Dean urged voters to return Democrats to a majority in Congress “so we can try to pick up where we left off.” “A Democratic Congress will kill the Bush Administration’s tax cuts and initiate impeachment hearings,” Dean promised. “While the impeachment hearings won’t be able to match the distraction potential of a sex scandal in the White House, the media coverage of it will at least push bad news from places like Korea to the back burner.” In related news, Governor Bill Richardson (D-N.M.), a reputed candidate for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination, is urging “face-to-face” diplomacy in dealing with North Korea. Richardson volunteered to undertake this task, pointing out that he was U.N. ambassador and U.S. energy secretary during the Clinton administration, visited North Korea, and toured North Korea’s nuclear reactor at Yongbyon as part of his effort to try to derail the development of nuclear weapons. “And I might add,” Richardson said, “North Korea and New Mexico have been at peace the whole time I’ve been governor. I think this speaks volumes about my ability to handle such a tough and delicate foreign policy issue.” “I Had an Abortion’’ Trademark a Big Seller MS Magazine’s campaign for what it calls “honesty and freedom” has turned into a merchandising bonanza. “Our t-shirts and mugs with the ‘I had an abortion’ slogan on them have been flying off the shelves,” said MS spokeswoman, Ann Savage. “We can’t stock enough of them.” The success of the MS merchandising effort has sparked a wave of imitators. The North American Man-Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) has initiated its own line of products with the slogan “I buggered a boy.” “We have a line of outerwear for our more outgoing members,” said Ivan Humphrey. “We have a line of stenciled underwear for our more discreet clientele.” People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) is test-marketing its slogan “I vandalized a lab” merchandise. Not wanting to be left behind in this rising fad, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) is thinking of reviving its “I vote Democrat” line of sweatshirts. “We initially had to drop the product when wearers reported that strangers laughed at them when they wore the shirts out in public,” said Howard Dean, Chairman of the DNC. “Given the revenue potential demonstrated by the success of slogans of other groups that speak to Democrats’ core values, though, it may be worth another try.” Pelosi Says Bush’s Failed Economic Policies Are Pillaging Government Coffers House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi released a statement denouncing President Bush’s economic policies. “While President Bush continues to trumpet his so-called ‘economic achievements,’ the fact is his wanton tax cuts are pillaging the public treasury,” Pelosi said. “Funds that should rightfully be in the hands of the government have been turned back to private interests under the elitist notion that money belongs to those who’ve earned it.” “A nation is a social enterprise,” Pelosi continued. “The outputs are the collective property of all. It is the job of congress to use these outputs for the benefit of the nation.” Pelosi ridiculed what she called “Bush’s naïve theory that profits encourage investment. Profits expropriate the bread created by the working classes. So-called entrepreneurs and investors are just fancy terms for people who are really looters.” “Democrats will bring a more humane economic policy to the country,” Pelosi promised. “Under our plan, each person will be asked to contribute to the full extent of his or her ability. In return, the government will take care to ensure that each person receives what he or she needs.” Pelosi characterized the separation between so-called private and public property “an artificial distinction without moral value. Ultimately, all property and income are public. It is shameful that some are permitted to have more than they need while others suffer from want. Given sufficient support by voters this November, we intend to fix that.” “Democrats propose a New Direction to provide real tax help to hard-pressed families, which will inject demand into our economy, spur economic growth that will produce jobs, and reduce the deficit, and we will do it in a fiscally responsible way.” Mexico Threatens Drastic Action over Border Fence Angry that six years of lobbying effort aimed at an immigration reform that would allow millions to cross into the United States legally, the Mexican government sent a diplomatic note to Washington criticizing the plan for 700 miles of new fencing along the border. Foreign Secretary Luis Ernesto Derbez called it an “offense” and said his office was considering suing the United States. “We have an easement right to enter the United States,” Derbez said. “We will sue!” An easement is the right of use over the real property of another. Another term for easement is equitable servitude. The right is often described as the right to use the land of another for a special purpose. Unlike a lease, an easement does not give the holder a right of “possession” of the property, only a right of use. In most of the United States, using someone else’s property, for example, for ingress and egress over a certain number of years, regularly and without the consent of the property owner, can give the user the right to continue using the property for the same purpose for as long as the user wishes. This method of acquiring an easement is called a “prescriptive easement” or “easement by prescription.” Derbez is rumored to have put out feelers to John Edwards to see if he will take the case. Ruben Aguilar, spokesman for President Vicente Fox, said that Mexico had ruled out suing. He added he was “confident” the additional fencing would never be built because the vote on a fence was “just election-year posturing.” “They have to sound tough going into the election,” Aguilar said. “Polls show 80% of the voters want a fence. After the election is over the normal conditions will reassert themselves.” President-elect Felipe Calderon echoed Derbez’s anger, but disagreed that a lawsuit was the right approach. “Free migration is a human right,” Calderon asserted. “We will tear down this wall if we have to.” “Lawyer” Controversy Plagues Ford Campaign In his campaign for the U.S. Senate, Rep. Harold Ford Jr. (D-Tenn) is reported to have falsely claimed to be a lawyer. Ford was awarded a law degree by the University of Michigan Law School in 1996. Ford took the Tennessee bar exam in February 1997 but failed. The allegation that Ford falsely claimed to be a lawyer stems from the following quote that appeared in the newspaper: “I told Senator (Lamar) Alexander, I said, ‘I won’t hold it against you if I’m elected, and there’s two lawyers in the delegation who try their hardest to work through the issues.” Ford contends that the reporter misunderstood what he had said. “The word I used was ‘lawer’—you know, a person who makes laws, which is what I do in congress,” Ford said. Observers aren’t so sure Ford’s “explanation” will help his campaign. “Any way you look at it it’s bad,” said Chattanooga Times reporter Jerry Riggs. “If you accept his explanation that the word he used was ‘lawer’ this would indicate he is an idiot. If he’s making up the explanation he is a liar. And even if he were truly a lawyer it would necessarily work in his favor given the low opinion many voters have of lawyers. So, I’d say he’s ‘shot himself in the foot’ on this one.” Kenyan Couple Punished for Sex in Mosque A couple caught having sex in a Kenyan mosque during the Muslim holy month of Ramadan have been sentenced to 18 months jail for an “abominable” affront to religion. Peter Kimani and Jennifer Wairimu pleaded guilty to the charge of having sex in a place of worship after being caught at the Abubakar mosque in Gilgil, about 60 miles north of Nairobi. Neither is a Muslim. The couple had pleaded for clemency, saying they were too drunk to know where they were. The judge rejected their bid for clemency. “Having sex in a mosque is a most abominable thing to religion,” he said. “Their admission of intoxication multiplies the offense in Allah’s eyes. They cannot behave like an America’s Senator Kennedy in our country and expect no punishment. They are fortunate that I did not order them hanged.” The pair were sentenced to 18 months in jail. Reached for comment, Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass) denied that he had ever had sex in a mosque. He did admit, though, to having had sex in a mask, but says he doesn’t remember much more about it as he was drunk at the time. Study Says Promiscuity Is Good for Health Being promiscuous may not be such a bad thing after all. New research on queen bees has found that those who indulge in lengthy sex marathons with multiple mates, are the ones who build the healthiest colonies. The study was conducted by bee experts David Tarpy at North Carolina State University in Raleigh and Thomas Seeley at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York. Former President Bill
Clinton said he feels vindicated by the research findings. “For all the
criticism I had to suffer over Monica and the others, it’s good to know
that I was contributing to a healthier America,” Clinton said.
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Reports
that North Korea rested a nuclear weapon sparked a sharp denunciation of
Bush Administration foreign policy by Howard Dean, Chairman of the
Democratic National Committee. “North Korea’s announced A-bomb test is
further evidence that President Bush has taken his eye off the ball,
allowing a member of the so-called ‘axis of evil’ to acquire a nuclear
weapon,” said Dean.