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JOHN SEMMENS: Semi-News
NYC Mayor Vows to Tighten Gun Control Nov. 2, 2006 “If you want a gun permit, you should have to really show that your life is in danger, and that having a gun will protect you, will improve the chances of you surviving,” the mayor said. “For example, if you’ve already been shot once or are currently being held hostage by armed criminals we’d seriously look into issuing you a permit.” “There has to be a proper balance,” Bloomberg said. “An innocent person is entitled to a commensurate response. Being held at knife-point or being bludgeoned with a club is insufficient warrant to issue a permit to carry a firearm. People are already free to carry their own knives and clubs for self-defense. Better still, they could simply run away when confronted by such assailants.” Bloomberg rejected suggestions that he ought to practice what he preaches. “As the leader of this city, I am a target,” Bloomberg said. “My bodyguards will continue to carry firearms.” Energy-Saving Tips from Barbra Streisand It turns out that in addition to being the greatest singer of all time, Barbra Streisand is also an expert on the environment. Recently, her wisdom was revealed when she posted her top energy-saving tips on her web site, Barbrastreisand.com. 1. Have your chauffer drive you to the bus or train station so you can continue your journey via more fuel-efficient public transit. 2. Have your maid use a broom rather than a vacuum to clean the floor. 3. Have more of your meals catered so you don’t have to run your oven and stove. 4. Have your gardener use a push rather than a power mower to trim the lawn. 5. Send your clothes out to be laundered so you don’t have to run your washer and dryer. 6. Hire live entertainment so you don’t have to run your television. “These are just a few of the routine things I do to help save energy in my day-to-day activities,” said Streisand. “If others could just follow these and other simple steps, we would reduce our energy consumption and save the planet.” Study Shows Abortions Linked to Women Mental Health Problems Psychologists and mental health professionals in England say that abortion may cause women mental health problems. They have called for doctors to revise what they tell women who are considering an abortion. The call came in a letter published in the London Times. The letter said, in part, “Research published in The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry has shown that women who had abortions had twice the level of mental health problems and three times the risk of major depressive illness as those who had given birth or never been pregnant. Since women having abortions can no longer be said to have a low risk of suffering from psychiatric conditions such as depression, doctors have a duty to advise them about potential long-term adverse psychological consequences of abortion.” Etta Young, public relations director for Planned Parenthood dismissed the letter as “overreaction.” “This research doesn’t prove that abortion causes mental illness,” Young said. “Maybe these women were mentally ill before they got abortions. Maybe that’s why they got abortions.” National Abortion Rights Action League spokesperson Liza Lott assailed the research as “rightwing propaganda.” “Getting an abortion is the sanest thing any woman can do,” Lott said. “It’s the harassment of religious fanatics that drives post-abortion women crazy. Women’s mental health should be protected by restraining the criticisms of the procedure that are voiced by these fanatics. Claims that this medical procedure causes babies to be killed are lies. The government has a duty to prevent these lies from being disseminated.” The research led to the American Psychological Association’s withdrawal of an official statement denying a link between abortion and psychological harm. Muslim Violence Frightens French Authorities The French government has acknowledged Muslim violence has injured more than 2,500 police officers in the past year. Muslim neighborhoods are becoming war zones, with police and government workers too scared to enter. “We are in a state of civil war, orchestrated by radical Islamists,” said Michel Thoomis, secretary general of the Action Police trade union. “This is not a question of urban violence any more. It is an intifada.” The French Assemblée Nationale is wracked with indecision over how to deal with the situation. Some are urging that France withdraw. Others are saying this doesn’t go far enough. “Where could we withdraw to?” asks Pierre Laval, an assemblyman from Paris. “The war is not 5,000 miles away like Vietnam. It is right here. We must reach an accommodation like we did with Germany in 1940. Maybe we cannot save the wine, but perhaps we can salvage the bread and cheese.” French President, Jacques Chirac, blames the United States. “We didn’t have this kind of violence until the current Bush Administration announced its war on terror,” Chirac said. “We are not a part of this war. Sadly, we cannot seem to communicate this fact to the Muslims. As they see it, if France is not an Islamic country it is their enemy. We are bending over to accommodate them, but they are stabbing us in the back. We can only hope that the Democrats in America will be elected and end this war. Until then there will be no placating these Muslim lunatics.” Decline in Testosterone Levels Hailed by NOW According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, levels of the sex hormone testosterone in U.S. men have been falling steadily. Average total testosterone levels in men aged 65 to 69 fell from 503 nanograms/decileter (ng/dL) in 1988 to 423 ng/dL in 2003. If the decline continues, testosterone levels in men will equal those in women within 100 years. The National Organization for Women hailed the trend. “We all know the problems created by men—violence, pornography, sports,” said Alice Crank, vice-president for policy. “It’s good to see that trends show a hormonal convergence is in our future.” Crank credited NOW efforts as a contributing factor in this trend. “We’ve encouraged males to get in touch with their feminine side,” Crank boasted. “We let them know it’s okay to show emotion, to cry when you feel hurt. A fall in testosterone is the body’s way of coping with these new behaviors.” Others offered different explanations for the trend. “I’d say it’s changing dietary habits,” said Slim Johnson, a cattle rancher from Wyoming. “All this soy substitute and quiche is enough to make pansies out of a man. Men ought to be eating steak.” Howard Dean, Chairman of the Democratic National Committee, welcomed the trend, regardless of its cause. “If only men voted, Republicans would rule by huge majorities,” Dean observed. “Women’s votes are our Party’s life line. The more men we can feminize, the more votes there’ll be for Democrats.” In somewhat related news, police and Secret Service agents were investigating a report of a suspicious substance found in former President Clinton’s office in Harlem. Police and emergency services officers were called to the office building by a hysterical staffer. “There were these crusty splotches on the rug, drapes and towels,” said intern Candy Tushman. “We didn’t know what it was. But with all the angry right-wingers who hate President Clinton, we thought it was better to be safe than sorry.” Forensic analysis revealed the substance to be dried semen. No charges will be pressed. Iran to Pay Incentives to Attract Hostages Tensions between Iran and the West may be deterring visitors to that nation. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s threats against Israel, development of nuclear weapons and forecasts of Armageddon have taken their toll on Iran’s tourist industry. This, in turn, threatens Iran’s ability to take hostages in its bid to defy sanctions against the nation. “Iran is really a nice place to visit,” said Izah Nekuttah, director of Iran’s Hospitality and Hostage Administration. “There are many cultural treasures, warm weather and beautiful beaches. Entertainment includes fine dining, traditional music and public executions. Iran is one of the few places you can still see a genuine stoning. We think travelers ought to give us a chance to prove ourselves.” Nekuttah said the government will offer cash incentives to travel agencies to encourage Western tourists to visit the country, giving a premium for Americans. “This proposal is our sincere bid to reach out to ordinary Americans and bring them within our grasp,” said Nekuttah. “They will enjoy a truly unique, once-in-lifetime experience.” Reid, Pelosi Rally to Defend Kerry Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid and House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi wrote President Bush encouraging him to act immediately to reverse the decline in our military’s readiness. “As Senator Kerry has so incisively pointed out, the U.S. military is the repository of our society’s losers,” the two wrote. “The combination of a slumping economy and a failed education system has left too many poor and minorities with too few options. Opportunistic Army recruiters are sweeping these unfortunates into military service where they serve as cannon fodder for Bush’s imperialistic ambitions in Iraq.” Reid said he was inspired to write this letter because “The Republicans are trying to make a big issue out of Kerry’s advice to students. His intent was to urge students to do well in school so they wouldn’t flunk out, lose their student deferments and get shipped to Iraq. He was just trying to use this unpleasant reality to help motivate them to study hard.” Senator John Kerry (D-Mass) has faced widespread criticism for a speech in California where he asserted that “only morons and losers end up in the Army.” Vice-President Cheney and Rep. Charles Rangel Debate Representative Charles Rangel (D-N.Y.)-- who is set to become chairman of the powerful House Ways and Means Committee if the Democrats win the House in the upcoming elections – has said he wouldn’t continue “a single one” of President Bush’s tax cuts. Vice-President Dick Cheney said that he thought this might be bad for the economy. “I don’t know if the stock market would like it,” Cheney said. “Charlie doesn’t understand how the economy works. So if a man like Charlie Rangel were to be chairman of the committee, and sitting there with the gavel, all he has to do is not act, just don’t call up the legislation, and there’ll be a big tax increase.” Rangel rebutted Cheney by saying, “He’s a real son of a bitch.” Keith Olbermann of MSNBC News rated the debate a “draw.” “Both men made good points,” said Olbermann. “You could see that each side stuck to its basic theme. There wasn’t anything here that changed my mind. While partisan Republicans will focus on Cheney’s emphasis on tax and economic policy, objective observers will have to admit that he didn’t really refute Rangel’s argument.”
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New
York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg says he is determined to rid the
city of guns. A measure he is considering in this quest is one under
which applicants would have to show their life is in danger before they
would be issued a permit to carry a firearm.