JOHN SEMMENS: Semi-News

ACLU Sues Over Searches

August 13, 2005

The ACLU filed suit in U.S. District Court in Manhattan to stop random searches of New York City subway passengers.

Bertram Petty, spokesman for the ACLU defended the suit against a wave of criticism. “Bombing trains is, in our view, a legitimate freedom of expression issue,” said Petty. Police searches of suspect bags, brief cases and the like represent ‘prior restraint’ of this constitutionally protected freedom.”

Petty characterized this suit as consistent with previous successful ACLU suits to block laws against nude dancing and flag burning.

“I guess some will contend that we have gone too far with this line of argument, that killing people is not a form of protected expression,” Petty continued. “We say that the act of killing people needs to be separated from the issue of freedom of expression. The bombers can be prosecuted for murder after they have been given their rightful opportunity to express their hatred for America by this non-verbal demonstration.”

Dean Addresses Texas Illegals

Addressing a rally of illegal immigrants, Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean said Republicans will try to make illegal immigrants the “scapegoats” in the next election. Dean garnered the loudest applause when he said Republicans would attempt to bar illegals from voting during upcoming elections.

“Do you know who the scapegoats are going to be? Illegal immigrants,” Dean said. “Colorado Representative Tom Tancredo’s effort to enforce our immigration laws is morally reprehensible. California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger’s invitation for the Minutemen to visit California is a blatant ploy to reduce our vote count. A strong influx of illegals from Mexico means a strong turnout for Democratic candidates. “We must not let the Republican naysayers intimidate these voters.”

Miguel Estrada, a rally participant, expressed his anger at Republicans: “I am not escaped goat. I am Mexican. These Republicans insult me.”

Deportation Not Fair, Says Muslim Cleric

An extreme Muslim cleric whose family has received more than £300,000 in welfare benefits from the British taxpayers over the last 20 years is leaving under pressure from the government.

Speaking after the Prime Minister announced his clampdown, Bakri said: “My wives, children and I have a very comfortable home here. We don’t want to go back to Syria. Living conditions there are abominable.”

Kofi Annan, Secretary-General of the United Nations, vowed that the UN Security Council will look into the matter. “Surely, after 20 years of drawing British welfare, Mr. Bakri’s right to sustenance has become vested,” said Annan. “Making Mr. Bakri leave violates his human rights.”

Bakri, who lives in a £200,000 home, has praised the September 11 terrorists as “magnificent,” supports hostage-taking at British schools if carried out by terrorists and urged his followers to kill non-Muslims whenever they can. “I will miss being near the people I hate,” said Bakri.

Justice Stevens Says Death Penalty Should Only Apply to Unborn

In a speech in his home town, Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens pushed for restricting the death penalty to unborn fetuses.

“The men on death row are real human beings with hopes and dreams,” said Stevens. “The unborn have no hopes or dreams. They’re mere blobs of flesh inhabiting a woman’s body. The woman is perfectly within her rights to remove this flesh. This is what the Court ruled in Roe v. Wade. This is settled law.”

Death penalty cases dominate the work of the high court. Week after week justices deal with final emergency appeals, sometimes filed in the late night hours.

“The midnight calls are murder,” said the 85-year-old judge. “Once we abolish the death penalty, my life will get a lot easier.”

Armstrong Speaks Out on Iraq War

Lance Armstrong, seven-time winner of the Tour de France bicycle race, was quoted as decrying funding for Operation Iraqi Freedom, saying the money would be better spent on his “bicycles for peace” initiative. The quote has been posted on the website of Code Pink, an antiwar organization.

“If the Iraqi insurgents had bicycles they wouldn’t be so hostile,” said Armstrong. “Cycling would give them a wholesome and healthy outlet for their energy. Look what it’s done for me!”

The Armstrong posting is part of Code Pink’s “One Million Reasons,” an online petition drive asking people to state their reasons for opposing the war in Iraq. The petition is expected to be ignored by President Bush sometime in September.

John Semmens' Semi-News Archives:
 

Home |News |State Briefs |Editorials|Letters |Key Legislation |Privacy Policy |Contact Us